What to Do When You Can't Get Pregnant with Baby #2 | HRC Fertility

When a couple has a baby naturally, they tend to assume that they will have no problem having a sibling. Sometimes the status of a couple?s fertility changes after a successful pregnancy, however, and a couple that got pregnant accidentally with the first child might find themselves facing in vitro fertilization (IVF) for the second.

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Secondary infertility is defined as a couple?s inability to get pregnant even though they have had at least one child previously. The diagnosis is frustrating emotionally. The most common causes are that the partners developed fertility problems after the last pregnancy, like endometriosis or irregular ovulation for the woman or decline in sperm counts and motility for the man.

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Once the shock of the diagnosis wears off, the couple is faced with a difficult decision: Should we try to grow our family with infertility treatment or accept our family as it is?

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Here are some things you can do when you can?t get pregnant with baby number 2:

1. Get a fertility workup. It can seem odd to meet with a fertility specialist when you have children at home. Without a diagnosis, though, you can?t know what kind of treatment plan you would have ahead of you. Once you know what the problem is, your fertility specialist can give you a treatment plan.
2. ?Explain the diagnosis to your friends and family. Secondary infertility isn?t talked about to the same extent as infertility is. As a result, couples suffering from the condition are not given the same emotional support from their family and friends because there is no perception of loss. The more they know, the better support they can be. Be sure to tell them how they can help, as they likely will want to lend a hand in any way they can.
3. Discuss the diagnosis with your existing child. It?s naive to believe that you can hide the problem from your child by not talking about it. Children are perceptive when there is a problem at home, and with no information, they can draw the wrong conclusions about the source (i.e., they think it?s their fault). Discussing the problem and letting them see that you deal with challenges will be good for the family unit?s health overall.
4. Take time to grieve. You are suffering a loss and processing a lot of emotions. Before you make any big decisions, allow yourself time to make your peace with the loss of your dreams of family the way you pictured it. Once you are at peace with the loss of this idea, you will be more receptive to new paths to the family you want.

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Most causes of secondary infertility are treatable with assisted reproductive technologies (ARTs). Couples that have been trying for a year and are under 35 should talk to a specialist. Couples that are over 35 should talk to a specialist after trying for six months. Like infertility treatments, secondary infertility treatments are experiencing higher success rates today than at any time in history.

Secondary infertility is a difficult diagnosis for any couple wanting to have more children in their family. Some will content themselves with they family they have now. Others will get help from ART treatments so they can still have the family they always pictured for themselves. Whichever path they choose, these couples need to have empathy, validation and support to make the right decision for their family and themselves.

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Mickey Coffler, MD
HRC Fertility
Office: Oceanside ?

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Sources:

??Secondary Infertility.? www.resolve.org. Web. 27 December 2012.

?http://www.resolve.org/diagnosis-management/infertility-diagnosis/secondary-infertility.html

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??Secondary Infertility.? www.fertilityfactor.com. Web. 27 December. 2012.

http://www.fertilityfactor.com/infertility_secondary_infertility.html

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Source: http://www.infertility.org/what-to-do-when-you-cant-get-pregnant-with-baby-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-to-do-when-you-cant-get-pregnant-with-baby-2

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