Big Blueberry Eyes: That Word Special

I have a love/hate relationship with the word special.

- kids with special needs
- special-needs family
- Special Education
- Special Education teacher/classroom
- special ed bus
- Special Olympics
- special, special, special ... most of the time I want to say, but we're just an ordinary family! There is nothing special about us!

Kayla has a harder time with academics. She doesn't pick up on concepts as quickly or easily as most typical kids do. But when a typical child is falling behind in a subject what do they get? Extra help. They get extra help in reading, or math. So why does Kayla get special education? Why isn't what she getting just the same - extra help? She has needs, but why are they special needs? They are just needs. Extra needs sometimes. Additional needs/help.

She's not special or extraordinary because she has an extra (not special) chromosome. She's just a kid with +1 more chromosome. Does that make her special-special? Naw. It's just who she is.

And I don't fully buy into the concept that God only gives special children to special people/parents. Not at all.

God did not give Kayla to me because I was special. Because I wasn't. And I'm not. Seriously. I'm no more special a person than you or you or you. There was nothing I did in my pre-motherhood life that set me apart from anyone else. I'm average. Typical. I did nothing that would have showed God I was 'meant' to be a parent of a kid with special needs. I did nothing to show I was any more ready, deserving, capable, or equipped of having a child with Down syndrome than anyone else.

If God only gives these special kids to special parents, then what about the 90% of women who terminate their pregnancies upon finding out their baby has Down syndrome? If they were given this special child because they are a special person then why did they not carry their baby to term? Why in Eastern Europe are babies with Down syndrome who are born to those special parents immediately left at the hospital or orphanages? Aren't they special parents because they were given a special child?

I'm not special. I wasn't before I had Kayla and I most certainly am not after I gave birth to Kayla. On any (most) given day my parenting skills are certainly lacking in being a special parent.

I'm just a mom. A mom raising two kids.
For the most part we're a pretty typical family - mom, dad, daughter, son. That's it. Not a special family.

It's not even that it's a negative word. Just look at a few of the descriptions from Dictionary.com

1. of a distinct or particular kind or character: a special kind of key.

2.being a particular one; particular, individual, or certain: You'd better call the special number.

3.pertaining or peculiar to a particular person, thing, instance, etc.; distinctive; unique: the special features of a plan.

4.having a specific or particular function, purpose, etc.: a special messenger.

5. distinguished or different from what is ordinary or usual: a special occasion; to fix something special.

??

I'm not advocating against using the term special needs. It's clearly not anything like using the R-word. I know it's an easy umbrella term to cover all people with disabilities or who have some kind of differing-need.

I'm just saying ... that I have this love/hate relationship with that word special. That's all.?

Source: http://mdbeau.blogspot.com/2012/02/that-word-special.html

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